watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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