dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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