If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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