I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Houston, we have a blender
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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