Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
