Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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