bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
