He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
