I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
