Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize