Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
