Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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