The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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