the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
