So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just cropdusted the office
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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