I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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