Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
