and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
