He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
