Where is the hickey?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just found puke in my bra..
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
