he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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