toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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