She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
