I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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