if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize