so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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