Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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