Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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