Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I queefed so loud it echoed.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
whose ass print is on the piano?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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