Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
