I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
