For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
