I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize