i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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