I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
