It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
