# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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