As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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