nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize