i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
