Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
