i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
