hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
