She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
