Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
