While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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