I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
