Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
we should paint friendship bongs
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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