I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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