these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize