Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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