a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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