she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Just pee around me
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
