I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Randomize
