Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
