when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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