So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
