So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
