my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
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