hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
