She's JV to your varsity
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Randomize
