You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
