she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
