There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
